Pervez on East Pakistan

If there’s any country which could call itself the Portugal of South Asia, it’s clearly Bangladesh. It has always had and will continue to have pointless quiddities and a sense of redundancy about it.

The only thing that separates those traitorous sandal lizards from those cunting useless, olive-picking, peri-peri eating spics of Southern Europe is the fact that they don’t have food or good wine.

What they do have, however, is an unkempt overabundance of beard hair, chemical emissions, fertile women, undereducation, AIDS, toilet cleaners, cash-chucking Armani wearing scallies for politicians, malaria, illicit trade of Mach-3 razor blades, tornados, infant mortality, Bengalis, unemployment, rundown automobiles, outmoded practices such as men wearing lungis and holding each other’s hands while walking down the street, stolen cows and cell phones, dirty prostitutes, illiteracy, arsenic contaminated water, lecherous construction workers, inflation, uncultured attempts at oleos, leptospirosis infected peasants, substandard cannabis, circumcisions and toxic waste.

That’s right, Bangladesh is the verruca on your lower back, so to speak; the fly that hangs around a baboon’s bum. Fuck off back to your shipbreaking yards!