Trotsky travels

As a liberal leaning man of this world, I often enjoy travelling around Asia, interacting with peasants and the like. It gives me a sense of purpose, does sharing pain and pleasure with a class of people for whom I sacrificed many of my younger days, a sense of purpose, which I as an exile otherwise lack.

But I am, at heart, a forward thinking man and the sad truth is that a highlight of these trips is the experience of flying on one of these modern jet planes. Aviation intrigues me. I've lost count of the hours I've enjoyed bombing the fuck out of cities on Rise of Nations. I assure you, if I’d had such technology at my disposal when we took St. Petersburg, back in ’18, massacring those middle class cunts would’ve been so much smoother and simpler. And so much more fun.

Now Sri Lanka is not normally a country I’d visit – I’m quite put off by it’s pseudo-revolutionaries who are completely unaware of what it is their revolution seeks to achieve – but I’ve just had the disappointment of a Sri Lankan Airlines flight. Or fright, as Comrade Mao would have succinctly put it.

Sri Lankan Airlines is proof enough that the free market cannot work. Excessive competition in the aviation industry has driven air transport companies to constantly try and differentiate themselves. Singapore Airlines has introduced bigger seats, while airhostesses on Emirates seem to look increasingly fuckable. Sri Lankan Airlines has responded to these competitive maneuvers by hiring look-alikes of the national cricket team.

Aside from the fact that cricket is a rather unfortunate upper middle class habit and that the culinary equivalent of a Sri Lankan cricketer would be no more appetising than the testicles of a wild boar, nothing at all appears wrong with Sri Lankan Airlines’ commercial strategy.

But neglecting either of those points, Comrades, would be rather like neglecting the fact the Romanovs were a bunch of corrupt, overfed, incestuous in-breds. For crying out loud, how do they expect a man of my age and wisdom to find sleep on board when there are monsters trawling the cabin?